Top 25 Restaurant Foods I Have Ever Eaten (Part 2 )

In case you missed numbers 25 to 11, here is Part 1. Before we get into the top 10, here are some more honorable mentions that I either forgot to write about, or just recently tried. 

Honorable Mentions

Counter Burger, Los Angels/Irvine CA

Javier's, Las Vegas

Island Burgers

Patxi's Chicago Style Pizza, San Francisco CA

Number 10: BRAR's Food Culture of India, Toronto Canada

All you can eat buffet that includes all kinds of Indian food, pasta, pizza, ice cream, etc - Easily that best Indian restaurant I have been to in North America. I don't know if it was because I was having fun messing around with my cousins or just enjoying spending precious quality time with my east coast family, but to me, BRARS was the best Indian restaurant meal I have ever had...and I am not just saying that because it was 'all you can eat.' This place had both quantity and quality!

9. In N' Out

Animal-style grilled cheese and fries - Holy shit In N' Out is good! A grilled cheese sounds pretty simple. How much better can be than any other grilled cheese? But somehow, even without the delicious animal-syle sauce, they make the grilled cheese taste special. Add that sauce on there along with the bomb ass animal style fries and In N' Out is something special. It's one of the few things the West Coast has that the East Coast can be jealous of.

8. Veggie Grill, Los Angeles/Irvine CA

Quality imitation-meat menu including burgers, sandwiches, wings, and everything else that is usually made out of meat - In number 13, when talking about Ike's Place, I talked about options for vegetarians. Veggie grill takes this concept all the way. It is dedicated entirely to vegetarians. They got everything from chicken wings to chili to carne asada and carb cake sandwiches. I've never eaten meat so only a true meat-eater would be able to tell you if this compares to the real stuff. But for people like me who will never experience the delicious, savory, juicy taste of actual meat, Veggie Grill is the next best thing!

7. Udupi Cafe, Tempe AZ

Manchurian - This is a south Indian restaurant but most of the food is not so great. Ironically, easily the best tasting thing on their menu is not south Indian food. It is their Manchurian. Holy shit that is some bomb ass tasting shit. I nearly jizzed in my pants when I first had it. If I forget to go to this place whenever I go back to Phoenix, I am going to shoot myself in the mouth. And if I do remember to go, I am still going to shoot myself in the mouth because there aren't many better tasting things it will experience.

6. Bleecker Street Pizza, New York City

Pizza - Bleecker Street Pizza is often given the designation of New York's best pizza. In a land known for having a great pizza joint on almost every block, that is a great accomplishment. It is like being the cheapest Indian, or the dirtiest player on the Celtics. Overall, Bleecker Street does have the best tasting pizza I have ever had. Yes, that includes Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix. There is something in that sauce that gives it a subtle yet distinguishing spicy flavor. The crust, the cheese, the short wait time, you name it, Bleecker Street excels at every category that has to do with pizza.

5. Little Italy Pizza, 33rd and 5th New York City

Pizza - I have to specify the intersection of this place because there are like 10 different Little Italy Pizza joints in New York City and I am sure they are all awesome because that's just how New York City is! I just wrote about the number 6 entree (Bleecker St. Pizza) being the best overall pizza I have ever had. So why the hell would Little Italy be number 5 on the list? I promise it will make sense after I explain it. Here it is. If I use my brain, Bleecker Street is ranked higher. If I use my heart, Little Italy is ranked higher. Bleecker Street is like Lebron James. Logically, the best in almost all facets of the game. But Little Italy is like Kobe. Even though you know statistically, logically and practically Kobe does not match up to Lebron, if you are Laker fan like me, you will take Kobe over Lebron because you judge with your heart. When I had my rotation at a small pharmaceutical company in Midtown Manhattan, I ate lunch at this place almost every single day for 6 weeks. So I am much more familiar with Little Italy than with Bleecker Street. Also, if you are comparing only the crust, no matter what you use to judge, your brain or your heart, Little Italy has the best god-damn crust I have ever had! There is an element of crunchiness and an unbelievable texture to that crust. I have never seen that kind of crust duplicated anywhere. So Bleecker Street is the best pizza I have ever had in the world, but Little Italy is my favorite pizza in the world!

4. Yard House

The Gardein Menu - Yard House's gardein menu is fucking awesome! Buffalo and firecracker wings, Thai chicken pizza, chicken strips, and a bunch of other fake meat stuff! Meat eaters have told me it is pretty close to the real deal. And those god-damn truffle fries! Easily the best sports bar/restaurant combo I have been to!

3. Bulan Thai Vegetarian Kitchen, West Hollywood CA

Vegetarian chicken wings - Bulan Thai is an all-vegetarian Thai food place. But it's only on here because of it's chicken wings. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THOSE WINGS ARE GOOD!!!!! Whenever my buddies and I go to LA, we pretty much HAVE to make the obligatory stop to Bulan Thai to eat those wings. Even if we are going eat somewhere else, we will go to Bulan Thai and grab some wings as appetizers. The texture of those wings is unlike any other kind of imitation meat I have ever had. It HAS to be the closest possible thing to actual meat. If you are a vegetarian but have a fantasy about eating meat without actually eating it, go to Bulan Thai and grab some of these wings!

2. Mamoun's Falafel, New York City

Falafels - Ok I am sure there are many great falafel places in New York City. I have only been to a few of them. But forget about falafels...Mamoun's has the best overall restaurant food I have ever had. That goddamn falafel is so simple yet so fucking GOOD!!!!! And it's not just about the food. This particular location has no seating. I mean just look at the picture. The place is tiny! But there is always a line there. (Except apparently when that picture was taken...) But the whole Mamoun's food experience is awesome. At night, you will see a bunch of people standing on the street struggling to eat falafels while sauce runs down their hands. (If you watch the show Louis on FX, you can see this scene in the opening credits as Louis CK walks down the street into the Comedy Cellar next door.) We always walked down the block, sat on the curb and gobbled those falafels down like a couple of homeless men. It's a great experience! My dream night in New York City would be to eat some Mamoun's, then go to the world famous 'Comedy Cellar' comedy club next door and catch a set of Louis CK. And I don't know what is in that sauce but it is HEAVENLY!!!!! If cum tasted like that sauce does, I would become a cocksucker overnight.

1. Taco Bell

Everything - There is so much good food at Taco Bell, I didn't know what to put in the picture. So I just put up a picture of the whole menu! I am not going to go much into talking about Taco Bell, because I have already written an entire article about it here!

Thanks for reading!
Yours truly,
The King of Nothing

Top 25 Restaurant Foods I Have Ever Eaten (Part 1)

Recently I went to San Francisco and ate some bomb ass sandwiches. This got me thinking about food. I love food. (In case you couldn't tell from my skinny body.) Earlier this year, I came up with awards for the thing that is INDIRECTLY responsible for making me fat. Now, I have decided to write about the thing that makes me DIRECTLY fat...FOOD! Food is awesome. I haven't met a single person in my life that doesn't like or care about food. (With the exception of HDH Pramukh Swami Maharaj...but he doesn't count since he is an exception on most worldly lists.) Since everyone needs/wants/likes to eat...I hope all of you will enjoy this. Before I delve into this thing mouth first, here are some side notes:

- This list only includes Restaurant food. (Yes, that includes fast foods. Fast food are true restaurants too.) Don't get me wrong, I LOVE homemade food. But that's not what this list is about. My mom and grandma make some bomb ass food. (Any my wife. Kind of.) But that stuff is entirely in its own category. It would be like comparing apples to oranges.
- OBVIOUSLY this list only includes restaurants that I myself have been to. There might be really delicious stuff out there that might belong on this list but I haven't tried yet.

Let's get started...Hopefully by the end of this I will have your mouths more watery than New Orleans after Katrina. Since this list is huge, I had to break it up into 2 parts. Here are numbers 25 to 11.

Honorable Mentions - These places are pretty good but unfortunately, they didn't make the list. Some of them, like the New York City restaurants, are not on the list only because I have only been there once and don't remember a whole lot about the food.

Chipotle
Qdoba
Panda Express
Ghengis Grill, Phoenix AZ
Gobo, New York City
Dhaba, New York City
Tamba, Las Vegas and New York City

Number 25: Jack In The Box

Seasoned Curly Fries and Stuffed Jalapeños - If you know what Ekadashi is and you do it, next time go get some seasoned curly fries from JITB. Greatest Ekadashi food ever! If you eat out...

Number 24 and 23: Subway and Pizza Hut

Veggie Sub and Cheese Pizza - Subway and Pizza Hut are like the Toyota Camry of fast food restaurants. Nothing flashy, sexy, or fancy. But reliable. Dependable. You know what you are going to get and it's not going to disappoint. And with all of these other newer sub and pizza joints popping up, Subway and Pizza Hut still remains the best!

Number 22 and 21: Slices, Tempe/Phoenix AZ and BJ's Restaurant and Brewery

Thin Crust from Slices and Deep Dish from BJ's - Both of these places got the right formula for their respective kinds of pizza. Slices has some really good, easy to eat on-the-go, thin-crust pizza. It's good if you want to grab a quick bite on your way to the movies but you don't want to feel too full. Their formula is: Simple + Fast + Very Hot = Good Thin Crust Pizza. BJ's has some bomb Chicago-style deep-dish thick-crust pizza that is very filling. Their formula is: Slow cooked + Wide variety of toppings + Very Hot = Good Thick Crust Pizza. Oh...and I forgot about the pizookie...one of the greatest desserts ever!

Number 20: Red Robin

Gourmet burgers with boca or garden patty, Unlimited regular or garlic fries - See what I said about Subway and Pizza Hut? The same can be applied to Red Robin's burgers. It's like a fancy Camry. One step above a Camry. Camry XLE? Or maybe an Acura TL. Reliable, dependable, not going to disappoint, but still has some pop to it. And goddamn those garlic fries are good! Especially when they are free. Keep em comin!!!!

Number 19: Albertaco's Mexican Food, Cypress CA

California Burrito with fries - This joint is off the hook! It is the perfect place for college students. (Unfortunately I am not one of those.) Their California burrito with french fries in it is the best burrito (Or second best) I have ever had.

Number 18: Max Brenner, Las Vegas and New York City

The Chocolate Menu and the Hazelnut Cream Chocolate Shake - One word: Chocolate!!!! This place has some bomb ass American food, but it's on here for it's chocolate menu. They got all kinds of chocolate stuff ranging from waffles to fondu to pizza. And the Hazelnut Cream Chocolate Milkshake is one of the greatest tasting shakes I have ever had.

Number 17: Macayo's Mexican Kitchen, Arizona

Enchilada-style burritos - It's like El Torito, but good! If you have a ball, you will order the big-ass burrito they have but make it enchilada-style. If you have two balls, you will finish it.

Number 16: Tandoori Times, Phoenix AZ

Paneer Wrap - I've only been to this place once and don't remember much of it. That's how good these paneer wraps were. And much like many of these restaurants, it would be much higher on the rankings if I went there more often.

Number 15: Best Thai Cuisine, Riverside CA

Spicy Fried Rice, Pad Thai, Pad Kee Mow, Chicken Cashew (Tofu) - Discovered this place in college thanks to my roommate and friend. It's a small place but it's full of heat, spice, flavor, and the best Thai food I have ever had to date.

Number 14 - Cafeteria, New York City

Truffle Mac n' Cheese - I came down to this place for "Sunday brunch" with my roommate in NYC. It was pretty awesome. The freaking wait was so long that we ended up going across the street and ate lunch at a pizza joint before coming back and eating brunch. Even though our stomachs were full, we ordered triple digits worth of food for the two of us and we finished it. That's how good this place was! (Also: That's how expensive this place was!) The truffle flavored mac n' cheese is definitely on the short list of the greatest things I have ever tasted.

Number 13 - Ike's Place, San Francisco CA

Veggie sandwiches - There is only one word why this place is ranked so high on my list: Options. Especially when you don't eat meat, you appreciate sandwich places that give you options. With all the different kinds of sandwiches they have, and the different options of breads and toppings, there are hundreds of different options for vegeterians. I appreciate that.

Number 12 - Gobi Mongolian BBQ, Los Angeles CA

Tofu, veggies, noodles, and bunch of different sauces cooked right in front of you - This Mongolian BBQ idea is ingenius. Basically you pick what you want and the combination of the ingredients. Then you give the bowl to the cook who cooks it all right in front of you on a big ass hot plate. If it doesn't taste good, it's on you. But it tastes good pretty much every time!

Number 11 - Pizzeria Bianco, Phoenix AZ

Margherita and Biancoverde Pizza (Gourmet) - My undergrad physiology professor told me about this place after I told him I was moving to Phoenix for pharmacy school. For A LOT of people, this place is ranked much higher. Usually number 1. Although I don't have it in my top 10, I do remember the pizza being pretty damn good. Maybe it is simply because I have only been there once. Can you blame me? The place is so goddamn hard to get into. This is definitely the most INTERESTING restaurant out this entire list of 25. Here is why.

First of all, the place is rated world's best pizza by MANY credible food reviewers including Bon Appetit, the NY times, Vogue, and Rachel Ray. At one point in time, if you googled "world's best pizza" the first 10 hits were Pizzeria Bianco. Sure, the pizza is good. (I mean they made a pizza without sauce taste better than the one with sauce. That is some mad skills.) But is it THAT good? There are definitely other factors besides food in play here that lead to this kind of recognition. This is a very interesting phenomenon. 

It all has to do with the economic priniciple of sunken cost. This place is one of the hardest in the world to get into. First of all, it is world famous, yet it is a small space with maybe 15 tables. They only take reservations for parties of 6-10. Everyone else must be seated on a first-come first-serve basis. You can go there ahead of time, put your name on the list, call them every hour to keep your name on the list, and then have them call you an hour before they can seat you. So I went there at 5PM, put my name on the list for 2 people, drove back home, played a game of intermural football, and got a call at 8PM that there will be a table ready at 9PM. DID I TELL YOU THIS WAS ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT??? And when we got there at 9, it took another 45 minutes of us waiting in the bar next door before being seated. Was it worth it? Sure. Only because I was a bum of a student and didn't care much for studying so I had a bunch of time on my hands. But for tourists, visitors, and people with jobs, this might be a pain in the ass, especially when everyone tells you that you "have to go there."

So imagine you went through all of that to eat some pizza... All that time spent is sunken cost. So in order to keep you sane, and not feel ashamed that you went through all of that just for some fucking pizza, your brain tells you that this pizza is so damn good, that it was all worth it!!! That's the only way you will keep your sanity and not hate yourself. That psychological effect, combined with the hype you have heard about this place before you got there, and the fact that the world famous celebrity chef (Chris Bianco) that you saw on the food network is 5 feet away from you making your pizza and talking to you personally and then coming over to your table to say hello, makes you think this is definitely the world's best pizza! (Even though the actual food might not be.)

Wow...that was a very tough article to write. So much good food. Every time I look at it, I end up coming up with a completely different rankings order. Stay tuned for part 2 when we look at the Top 10!!!

Thanks for reading!

Yours truly,

The King of Nothing

The Diabetes Awards Part 1: Comedy

Ladies and gentlemen...welcome to the first ever Diabetes Awards! Without wasting any time, here is a quick explanation...

If you know me, you know I am fat...just a little...or a lot...it's all relative...I'm somewhere between Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken...Ok who am I kidding? I am a lot closer to Ruben Studdard than I am to Clay Aiken. Anyways, if you know me, you also know that I love watching TV shows...mostly on my laptop. And if you know anything about the psychology behind bad eating habits, you know that you shouldn't eat while watching TV because you associate the pleasure from TV, with the food. As a result, every time you watch something, it makes you want to have food even when you are not hungry, and when you do eat, you eat more, even when you are full. That is my problem. I might start watching a TV show like Game of Thrones on my laptop at like 10PM after dinner and because of my bad habits, I end up going downstairs and grabbing some grub because my fatass can't just enjoy the show on its own. So I would say about 75% of the blame behind my weight problem can be attributed to this psychological behavior...and therefore, eventually...when I get older...TV shows will be the single biggest reason why I will have developed diabetes and heart disease in my 30's. Hence, we have the Diabetes Awards! In part 1, we will look at the Comedy Category.

Award for the Funniest Moment of All-Time on Television

This is a very special award. There are two scenes that I immediately thought about when I considered this award. And I couldn't decide! So it's a tie!

Winner 1: Dr. Spaceman Treats Diabetes on 30 Rock - I couldn't find a clip of this on Youtube so I downloaded the episode, cut it, and tried posting it. But some bullshit about licensing and copyrights didn't let me. So I had to put the file on my public Dropbox. Download it and watch it! The Doctor's stupidity is fucking hilarious!

Winner 2: Reno 911 Cat Rescue - I was genuinely shocked and literally laughed myself to near-death when I first saw this on TV. It was fucking hilarious! HAHAHAHA

The "Fuckin' Hilarious" Award for the Funniest TV Show of All-Time:

There are a lot of funny shows out there. Most comedies, even the bad ones, have a few hilarious moments sprinkled in here and there. For example, the first season of The Office is as funny as any of the nominees for this award. 30 Rock probably has more subtle laughs sprinkled in every single sentence of its script than any other show. But both shows are not as funny now as they were in the beginning. The nominees are exactly what the name of the award suggests: fucking hilarious and fucking hilarious all or most of the time. Modern family probably belongs on this list. But it is more of a family comedy...very clean. Even though I love it and I think it is fucking hilarious, unlike the nominees for this award, watching it once would be good enough for most people. It doesn't make its fans want to watch the same episodes over and over again the way the following shows do. There were 6 nominees for this award.

6th place - Reno 911

Total Seasons: 6 (88 episodes)
Channel: Comedy Central
Still on? No
Short summary: It's about stupid cops in Reno doing stupid shit.





Most people might not know the existence of this show. (They probably know the movie.) That's probably why it eventually got canceled on Comedy Central. But it was fucking hilarious.

5th place - Party Down

Total Seasons: 2 (20 episodes)
Channel: Starz Network
Still on? No
Short summary: It's about out-of-work actors working at a catering service until they hopefully land a good acting gig and become famous.



Another hidden gem. You probably haven't heard of this show. It was on the Starz network, which most people, including myself, don't get. But you can download it. It only lasted 2 seasons, but it was funny as fuck.

4th place - Seinfeld

Total Seasons: 9 (180 episodes)
Channel: NBC
Still on? No
Short summary: It's a show about nothing! (If you know the show, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, watch it!)



This one is definitely not underground. If you don't know about this show, you are either less than 20 years old, or have been living under a rock during the 90's. This show was hilarious. I don't know how the hell it lost all those Emmys to Frazier. That's a joke. Seinfeld was genius at work. It was more of a subtle form of comedy. It made you smirk and giggle more than it made you laugh out loud. (Although it had its LOL moments as well.) But unlike most other comedies, Seinfeld made you think! Not like "playing chess" think, but it made you think in a funny way. You became a funnier person just by watching it. And the person who co-created it, Larry David, is a fucking genius. Straight up. Like Einstein. It's amazing that he has another show on this list.

3rd place - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Total Seasons: 7 (84 episodes)
Channel: FX
Still on? Yes
Short summary: It's about a bunch of idiot-morons who own a bar in Philadelphia. 



This show is the definition of ridiculous and laugh out loud funny. What's great about "the gang" is that they have no limits. They will make fun of anything and everything. Homelessness, abortion, race, sexuality, it doesn't matter. They will even throw a baby in the dumpster!


2nd place - Curb Your Enthusiasm

Total Seasons: 8 (80 episodes)
Channel: HBO
Still on? Yes...hopefully
Short summary: Larry David is a social nightmare! Sometimes he helps other people...sometimes he's selfish...but either way, you can bet he will get himself into a socially awkward situation.

This man is my fucking hero. Seriously. I plan on writing an entire article on him in the future. If I ever have the great fortune of seeing this genius in person, I am going to gush like a 12 year old girl who saw Justin Bieber. Then I am going to blow him and worship at his feet.

1st place and the winner of the "Fuckin' Hilarious" Award - Arrested Development

Total Seasons: 3 (53 episodes)

Channel: Fox
Still on? No...it's a fucking shame and travesty
Short summary: It's about an Orange County rich white family who breaks a bunch of corporate laws, becomes broke, and tries to keep up their lavish lifestyle, while the only sane family member tries to fix the family business and keep them under control.




I have seen every single episode of this entire show over and over again at least 4 times. Each time I watch it, I find some funny shit that I didn't see before. This show is not only the funniest comedy of all time, but it is one of the greatest TV shows of all-time in general. It has every element of a comedy. Genius, laugh out loud, subtle comedy, ridiculousness, potty humor, funny lines, sarcasm, background humor, etc, etc, etc. You HAVE to watch this show! I don't know what the fuck America was doing when this show was on the air. It received awesome reviews from the critics but the retarded American public was too busy watching reality TV. The fact that this show got canceled due to low ratings is a bigger tragedy than the Holocaust. It's no surprise that Arrested Development has a huge cult following even 6 years after it being off the air. And they are making a new season on Netflix and ending it with a movie! I am looking forward to this event more than I have looked forward to any event of my life, including any graduation, starting a career, my first paycheck, any vacation, moving to America, and my wedding.

The "Homer Simpson" Award for the Funniest Character of All Time:

It is self-explanatory why this award has been named after Homer Simpson. Homer Simpson is the original funny man. Even though he is animated, he was the first ridiculous moron that we all came to know and love. So let's look at the candidates for the funniest character of all time. Because there are so many candidates, I am just going to show pictures. And then I will announce the winner. 

Andy Dwyer - Parks and Recreations

Gob Bluth - Arrested Development

Tracy Jordan - 30 Rock

Charlie Kelly - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Jim Dangle - Reno 911

Cosmo Kramer - Seinfeld

Frank Reynolds - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

George Costanza - Seinfeld

Dr. Spaceman - 30 Rock

Dwight Shrute - The Office

Leon Black - Curb Your Enthusiasm

Michael Scott - The Office

Peter Griffin - Family Guy

Stewie Griffin - Family Guy

And the winner of the "Homer Simpson" Award for the Funniest TV Character of All-Time is...

Tobias Funke - Arrested Development

This guy is motherfuckin' hilarious!!! David Cross should have won multiple Emmys for playing Dr. Tobias Funke on Arrested Development. Just watch these videos:

And with that, we conclude Part 1 of the Diabetes Awards! If you haven't seen these shows, watch them! It will cheer you up from your sad depressing pathetic sorry excuse for a life. If you have depression, read my other article, and then watch some of these shows...and stay tuned for Part 2!

Thanks for reading!
Yours truly,
The King of Nothing