Thursday, June 28, 2012

Dream Chaser? Kiss My Ass!

Did you think this blog thingy was just a phase? Did you think I would get tired of it after a few weeks? Did you think I would run out of shit to write about? If there is anything you should know about me, it is that the list of shit that pisses me off in this world is endless! So being the excellent manager of time that I am, I figured I would shit out my first article in almost 4 weeks during a slow day at work. My first order of business? I feel like it's been a while since I typed some curse words. So let me have my male period and rid my body of toxins by getting the cursing out of my system:

fuck fuck fuck shit bitch cocksucker motherfuck asshole cuntlicker jackass shithead moron fuckface lardass whore slut douchebag jizz faggot homo fuck fuck fuck motherfucker pussy

Ok...that's better! Now onto the issue at hand. There has been way too much of this bullshit floating around nowadays that involves people "chasing their dreams" or "living life to the fullest." I believe Hollywood and Bollywood are the most to blame for this donkey jizz going around everywhere. Think about every single romantic comedy ever made. The girl is always dating a career-oriented well-educated guy who lives by the traditional norms of society. Then she meets some good-looking cool hipster who doesn't care about what society thinks and just loves to have fun and live his life to its fullest. So she ends up leaving the career-oriented dude for the dream chaser. Whenever I see this in a movie it pisses me off so much. Am I the only one that is rooting for the career-oriented dude? Watching these kinds of movie plots has poisoned the minds of young people today.

What the fuck does "living life to its fullest" mean anyways? Now don't get me wrong. I like to have fun too. But there is a difference between "work hard play hard" and "just having fun in life." I am in the "work hard play hard" camp. It really chaps my ass when I see people taking a year off between high school and college or college and grad school to "take a break" or "have fun." What the fuck do you need a break from? Was high school or college that tough that you need an entire year to rest your brain? Do you have any idea what the value of one year is? You are not only losing a year of productivity from your life but what most people don't realize is that they will start their career one year later. Do people realize the implications of that? That's one year's worth of salary. One more year of experience. One more year of practice. Hey ASSHOLE, how about instead of thinking about taking a break and having fun, you man the fuck up and get your shit together! This is exactly what I thought about when I decided which pharmacy school to go to. Even though the school I chose to go to actually started before my undergrad even ended, I chose to SACRIFICE fun things like my graduation ceremony and summer vacation because it meant I would finish pharmacy school one year earlier. Had I not done that, I would be just graduating right now instead of already having worked a year and having a year's experience under my belt. Not to mention I would've been $120,000 lighter in the wallet.

You know what else gets my panties in a bunch? I don't appreciate all of these douchebags who "love what they do for a living" and look down upon the rest of us who hate our jobs. These people make it seem like it is some sort of a crime to have a job you don't like. First of all, it is called work! If it was meant to be something you liked doing, it wouldn't be called work! Second of all, all of you assholes who love your job so much, why don't you just do it for free if you are having so much fucking fun at work? And third of all, there are many factors that determine why people choose a particular career path, and having fun at work should be towards the bottom of that list!

You know what should be at the top of that list? What your family needs! If your daddy is filthy rich you can afford to chase your dreams and go into retarded majors like music, art, film, or literature...then look down  upon those of us in medicine, computer science, or business. But if your family requires your salary to pay the mortgage or buy a car, if you know your parents are going to need your help in the future, and if you know there are people depending on you...then you know what? You just have to give up your long shot dream and your fun lifestyle and just live the life of a boring pharmacist. Or a doctor. Or an accountant. Or a lawyer. Because not all of us can be writers and actors and musicians.

Remember in your high school yearbook everybody had a quote or a motto? Most people's motto was something along the lines of "live life to its fullest." Today, kids are being taught this garbage. I don't remember what my motto was. But I know what I will teach my kids: "Forget living life to it's fullest son. Your motto in life will be to SACRIFICE...because daddy wants to quit his job, work more on his blog, and chase his dream you will have to support him..."

Thanks for reading!
Yours truly,
The King of Nothing


  1. This shit is legendary.


  2. So I think you hit it right on the head; all this society junk that you can live life to reach your dreams is a bunch of crap - all these people are doing is passing the buck down the road, either someone who has worked their ass off will be paying for them or these guys will be asking for the rich to 'give' them more because they are too lazy or set themselves up for failure early. Many would say that success is a function of being in the right place at the right time. Well the face is that, the person that want's success controls the time spent and the place they spend it - too many freaking people think that it will be handed to them and don't do enough on their own.

    Even worse are the people that ask for things from others when they themselves can't afford it; beggars can't be choosers, but yet the sense of entitlement in today's society lets people think that just because the people next door have it, I should have it -

    Well made post, those who have dealt with the same path of hard work and keeping their shit straight and sacrificing their personal lives can really appreciate what you wrote. All those that think that this is crap...well ask yourselves if you will be asking for a welfare check or surviving off of mom and dad's business because you don't have two shits of what you will do with your own life.

    1. well said my friend. another point i forgot to mention in the post is that we always see these stories on tv and in the media about people who followed their dreams and made it. some actor who used to bag groceries or rockstar who dropped out of school. it's sad because this kind of thing inspires people to give up their school or safe-route career and go try to do what they really want. but what most people don't realize is that we only hear about small percentage of cases that actually turned out successful. why would the media interview those who didn't make it? and there are a lot more of those than those who did make it by luck or chance.